Super Troopers and the Squib
by TheLastFalafelStand
Summary: After the second wizarding war, the magical and muggle communities worked towards mutual cooperation in Law Enforcement. The Super Troopers (currently not a subcategory of movies to list this as a crossover) were recruited and excel at their field. Constructive criticism welcome.


Super Troopers and the Squib

It was a dark night with little cloud cover, the air was chilling them to the bones. Arcot Ramathorn and Jeff Foster raced through the sky on Firebolt's, towards the green fire that raged on the mountain ahead, Thorny looked to Foster and said "I bet you wish Ursula was here to hold your hand."

"Shut it Thorny, there are people down there, we can help and I don't need to think about my wife right now."

It had been seven years since the battle for Hogwarts and the ministry had made great strides, at Hermione's lead muggles and wizards had become more closely involved, select muggle police departments were equipped with magical escorts, some were given brooms others that showed magical potential were given a crash course in magic and ongoing training. The Vermont State Trooper station of Spurbury showed great promise and actually learned quite quickly how to perform basic magic for magical law enforcement. This was fosters first time out and he planned to make it a very successful apprehension.

"You cut left foster and come around back, I'll slow down and fly directly over the fires and see if I see anything unusual. And draw your wand, this is what it's for." Ramathorn ordered, his smile turning to consternation.

"Got it." He said and moved off to the left putting on speed. He drew his wand and cast a windbreaker spell around his face, keeping his eyes peeled for Thorny and any traces of wizards on the ground. He scoured the ground as he flew wide to avoid the fires, it was so hard to see through the flames but he was sure there were patches that were clear of fire. The green flame danced and took form of images, he saw the first time he met Farva, he saw Johnny Chimpo mooning women in Burka's, he saw himself dancing in front of Ursula's precinct naked but for his trench coat and whitey tidy's; he didn't see the red beam of light shoot out of the trees, Everything went black.

Ramathorn flew unsuspecting into a cacophony of spells, a few barely missing him, one even singed his mustache, this was not good, 'where is Foster!' He thought as he flew evasively tracing a spell back to his owner and pointing his wand "Stupefy!" He yelled and a red beam of his own shot downwards.

He pointed at his broom and yelled "Protego infinitum", a spell Hermione had invented, and his broom was surrounded by a glimmer just the spells that the Wizards below started sending in response to his evasion started coming, he looked right at a killing curse that came hurtling toward him and time stopped for a minute. He thought about Arlo, and Bobby, and all of his friends back at the precinct. His life started to flash before his eyes and the spell came into contact with his shield charm, it glowed green and sparkles of green magic flew out the sides.

"Woooooooooooooooooo!" He heard screaming from behind him as Mac, upside down on his broom, came hurtling up to him. Mac called out "come on Thorny! Let's catch these sons of bitches."

"Rabbit! Swing low right!" Mac shouted behind him, "like your cock Thorny, ahaha!" Mac added as he sped off, high and left, throwing curses into the fray.

"Hey Thorny!" Rabbit called as he came up on Ramathorn's right, "Yes, Farva, I heard you, I'll tell him," he said, under his breath, touching his ear.

"Tell him to yell, 'rammed yah!' At every one of the Wizards he gets!" Farva was buzzing in Rabbits ear.

"Farva, seriously we have to get into this raid." He said softly. "We gonna do this Thorny?" He told his superior officer.

"Just tell him god damnit Rabbit!" Which caused Rabbits face to get a little tinge of anger, and Officer Ramathorn noticed, nodding his head with a look of utter annoyance himself.

"He says to tell you to yell 'Rammed ya!' at all the guys you apprehend." Rabbit said to Ramathorn which caused Farva to laugh loudly into his ear, making him wince.

"Oooooh, is he laughing? Did he get all angry? What's he saying!? Rabbit did he hear you? Ooh I bet he fell off his broom from laughing so hard. Ooh I got him good." Farva was raving in Rabbits ear, he looked to Thorny and nodded.

"Let's go Rabbit, put your game face on!" Thorny said and went a little faster throwing out curses as he went. "Stupefy", he saw a Wizard fall from a tree; "Tarantalegra" a wizard danced straight into the fire; "Petrificus Totalus", a wizard fell stiff as a board.

"Right sir," Rabbit called out, his face twisting with concentration as he lowered his altitude and drew his wand. He had excelled at magic, he had already been on the most missions out of the precinct but Ramathorn was still his superior officer. He flicked his wand in the direction of the Wizards on the ground and tendrils of magic seeped out. Little purple tentacles of magic slowly started picking up speed as they found their targets, 8 wizards were lifted up by the magic and restrained, and Mac threw stunning spells at them. Counting off "8, 9, 10...15! Aww Thorny he was mine!"

"You're still at 8, rabbit got those 8. Better catch up to his speed or you're gonna lose the bet." Ramathorn answered.

Mac got a new fervor in his eyes and thorny new that meant he'd be doing something stupid shortly. Mac took a nose dive and barrel rolled, throwing curses in all directions towards the ground around him. "Mac! You crazy fucker." Ramathorn said under his breath and dipped his brooms nose to follow.

The fight was over quite quickly after that, Mac had apprehended 18 wizards, Thorny 13, and Rabbit had gotten 17. The three of them made their way to the ground, Mac dismounted, looked to both of the others. He jumped into the air with a high kick and screamed "Wooo!" He looked to Thorny and said "You guys are too slow! Pay up!"

Rabbit dismounted and threw two stunning spells past Mac's head, Mac's face went from a mocking smile to plain fear. "Woah calm down rookie, I know I won..." Mac turned his head to look over his shoulder when he heard two bodies thump, all tension he had in his muscles was overwhelmed with failure as he flipped off Rabbit. "Why you gotta take this away from me? Those don't count! We were on the ground!"

"What is it you say Mac? What's the matter your mama didn't teach you about tactics?" Rabbit mocked Mac. "Where's Foster, is he fucking Ursula?"

"Good question Rabbit, call in the arrest, I'll go look for him, I saw where he took off," Thorny said handing Rabbit a hundred dollar bill, he remounted his broom and took off.

"I'll pay you Rookie, but you gotta teach me that octopus thing." Mac said approaching Rabbit and throwing magical ropes at fallen foes. He grasped between two fingers and handed him a hundred dollar bill, looking at him with head tilted and a goofy smile. "Let's get all these guys in one spot. Call cap."

Rabbit grabbed for the hundred dollar bill, Mac pulled away and smiled, daring him to try again as he put the bill back within reach. Rabbit chuckled and faked twice, both times Mac flinched but didn't move. Rabbit said "look Mac," grabbed the money quickly from Macs outstretched hand, "you're just not quick enough." He turned and put a finger to his ear, putting the money from both men away in his left pocket. "Yah, Farva, we have them all apprehended, get Captain O'hagan over here though. I think he's gonna wanna talk to this guy. Just tell him, Farva!" He helped Mac tie up and move the rest of the Wizards to pass some time before they arrived. It didn't take long before he heard three pops and turned to see the Minister of Magic Hermione Granger herself, Captain O'hagan, Officer Ursula Foster and Officer Farva walking up to them from the edge of the clearing.

"This is what I was talking about Captain, you're getting really very good but this could be more precise. Apparation is just like any other spell, it has to be done with good form and good feeling, and you need to be absolutely present in the incantation, movement, and execution of a spell. If you had been more precise we would have ended up directly next to Officer Womack here." Hermione was lecturing the Captain while they approached, he really didn't enjoy all the magic but she insisted that he was quite powerful and it was a good tool to have in his line of work. "This would be great for a swift entrance to a raid, or a well-placed shield charm for your partner and will be covered in the documentation that we give those teams."

Farva came quickly up to the other officers of the squad, chuckling a bit when he came up to them saying, "where's thorny? Did he actually fall off his broom? Oh I got him good!" He started looking around more feverishly and the fear was prevalent in his stance when the other finally caught up.

"Cap, Foster, Minister!" Rabbit greeted.

"Rabbit," the captain returned the greeting looking at Farva with a hint of disgust before addressing Mac. "What's the situation? Where is thorny?"

"Well sir, we apprehended these ones tied up here, and a few died due to falling from tree's or into the fire. Thorny sent Foster off to flank and he didn't meet at rendezvous so Thorny's is going to find him," upon hearing this Ursula gasped, which made Mac say "he's fine Ursula, he's a good cop."

"Why weren't you with him?" Ursula demanded, and the captain looked at her, affronted for a moment. Then realized she'd made a good point, Mac was his partner after all, and turned his eyes back on Mac.

"Well, we made a bet, and it was every man for himself tonight, we had the element of surprise and we were attacking from the air, he should be fine." Mac explained defensively, looking from the captain to Ursula hoping to be saved in the moment.

Just at the right time to save Mac from another scolding Farva spotted Thorny, his stance relaxing slightly. Farva chuckled and pointed, "There they are!"

Mac relaxed and withdrew a bit as the group turned around and took their attention off of him, only to realize a kick was coming from Ursula as she turned around from seeing Foster laying limp over Ramathorn's broom. "The counter curses aren't working Minister," he started as two pops came from Rabbits left and he drew his wand, causing everyone on the ground, with the exception of Farva who didn't have one, to do the same.

Harry and Ron looked at everyone defensively for a second before lowering their wands and bowing their heads slightly in greeting. "Blimey! Hello everyone, what's the situation then?" Ron asked, assuming there was still cause for alarm as Hermione shook her head and pointed to Thorny who had just landed. Ursula had Foster in her arms and on the ground in moments, trying all the magic she knew to discover what was wrong with her husband, when Hermione approached, putting her hand on the other woman's shoulder. Ursula looked up and nodded, not needing to say or hear anything to know that the Minister of Magic would know what to do. Hermione looked to Ramathorn and said "Officer, did you see anyone? Please fill Harry and Ron in on the situation so they can track the wizard that did this, if they are still alive that is. I'll need Officer fosters wand and broom." She grasped them when they were immediately presented and began examining the broom for spell residue. After a few moments she cast some spells on his wand and continued to discern what was affecting him.

Ramathorn, Rabbit, and the two Aurors having been filled in, disapparated and went in search of the missing death eater, or death eaters. Farva said aloud "oh man, I wish I could go." Which made Mac laugh.

"You couldn't cast a jelly legs jinx without thinking about donuts even if you could use a wand," Mac mocked, which made the captain turn towards them.

The captain walked closer and said "Mac, take Farva and some of the prisoners back to the precinct and start processing them."

"I get to put Farva in jail? On what charge Cap?" Mac joked. The captain didn't look to have enjoyed the joke and sternly looked at Mac who grabbed Farva by the shoulder and the first group of bunched prisoners.

"If there is anything that crazy man is worth, it's magical ability," the captain said softly as he stood in awe of a task most, as Hermione said, could not even begin to fathom attempting. Although Rabbit was much more inventive and versed in his magical knowledge, Mac had raw power on his side.

Hermione giggled with joy a bit before remembering that Ursula stood behind her watching, "sorry, I figured it out, he'll be fine. Let me just cast..." She said readying her wand and casting confidently, "Draconis Excitare".

Fosters eyes flung open and he said "...do you Meow?" Ursula looked at her Husband, anger swelling and kicked his leg.

"You were counting 'Meows'? You were counting meows and you didn't even have a witness!" She kicked him again. "Foster I swear, sometimes I wonder if I should have married you." Hermione backed away from the husband and wife, silently laughing at the familiarity of it all. She allowed the two to argue and began to make her report on the situation leaving spots blank to expand on fosters point of view when the two finished.


End file.
